Okay — that’s a bit harsh, but do you ever wonder why Adam Sandler only partners on movies with friends who knew him before he became famous?  Sure some of his movie choices are questionable, but no matter what movie he produces, his friends come out for him and star in his films. Why?  Because he’s a nice guy and they trust him.

Which leads me to this post.  When you are considering hiring someone you don’t know to do a job, make sure you check them out.   Even if you think you know them, don’t get married first and then find out they were the wrong partner for you.  Test it out, ask for references, examine their warts before they become yours.

That’s the beauty of family and friends from your past.  You know exactly who they are and what they are capable of.  You know you should avoid the backstabbers at all costs and you would go to the ends of the earth for the people who have always been there for you.  So do the same when it comes to your business.  Hire people you trust who share the same work ethic as you.  Otherwise, you are setting yourself up for a bumpy ride filled with frustration, anger and bitchiness.

If you always bend over backwards for others and pitch in even if no one asks for your help, you are deep in the throes of being way too nice.  Here are five warning signs you are being too nice for your own good:

1. A friend asks you to drive out of your way to see them even though they’ve never once gone out of their way for you.
2. A friend or colleague constantly wants to “pick your brain” for free but when you ask for advice, they continually ignore you.
3. You’ve hired a consultant to work with you on a project and while they were supposed to help lighten your load, you find yourself doing the lion’s share of the work because their work is mediocre at best.
4. You finally get the courage to ask your boss for a promotion or raise and they inform you they’ve decided to promote someone else because they are more confident and you seem more like a worker bee.
5. Someone has stolen one of your ideas and is now using it to make money.   Rather than call them out for screwing you over,  you congratulate them on their success and wish them well.

If you can relate to all or a few of these points, then you are in need of a nice makeover. Time to get a little bitch in your life so you can finally get all the things you’ve always wanted.  I’m not saying it’s good to be mean to people all the time, but if you feel someone is taking advantage of your good nature,  then feel free to be a bitch on wheels.  You have my permission — a formerly rehabilitated nice person who is now a bitch at heart.

I’ve spent a lifetime being nice.  And honestly, the harder I worked and the nicer I became, the more people took advantage of my positive attitude.

“Oh she won’t mind if I promote someone else to the position she really wants.” “Oh she will be perfectly fine if I steal one of her ideas and make it my own.”

“Oh, she’ll be fine if I do a less than stellar job on a project she hired me for.”

“I mean she’s nice, I can totally take advantage of her, can’t I?”

Well guess what?  Once you hit your 40’s, you stop being so nice.  I remember having bosses who were in their 40’s and I could never understand why they could be so nasty and crazy when I worked with them but now I totally get it.  A woman in her 40’s who is used to working with colleagues who are dedicated professionals, honest, trustworthy and hard-working cannot deal with mediocrity.  While I have spent my entire career being nice to peers and colleagues, I’ve officially reached my breaking point.

I have watched time and again how nasty and cutthroat women get ahead and I now understand why. They don’t stand for people’s BS and they call people out when they are disappointed in their work. As I stand at the intersection of nice and nasty, I’m about to take a path that’s totally out of character.

Is it so wrong to expect people to have the same high standards as me?  I am tired of people taking advantage of my good nature and I want people not to make excuses for sub par work.  One and done.  That is my motto. I will be nice up to a point and if you do something that rubs me the wrong way, trust me, I will let you have it.  No more Mrs. Nice Gal.  For me, Bitch is the new Nice.