You know what’s totally annoying?  When you hop on Facebook and amidst all the photos and posts you enjoy seeing of your good friends or family members, are a string of narcissists who continually post about their fabulous lives.  Now don’t get me wrong – I am guilty of that too and frankly, I’m starting to think it might make sense for me to share my good news with my family and spare the people who are going to think I’m full of myself with my daily rants.   But lately, every time I see those people who just make me want to smack them upside the head, I try to scroll past them without posting a snide comment.  Instead, I figured out the best way to not have to ever see their posts again.  De-friend them or better yet, just hide their posts from your feed and you’ll never have to feel the green eyed monster start to rear it’s ugly head.

The best part about hiding those annoying posts is they don’t know you’re not seeing their updates and you haven’t de-friended them – even though in your head, you have.

So my dear friends…the key to being happy is to surround your FB page with the people whose posts you want to see and if anyone ticks you off, just hide their posts and they will instantly disappear!

Whenever someone does something really sh*tty to me, I take a deep yoga breath and silently chant:  “Karma’s a bitch.”  Sure, it might take a long time for karma to swing back in the right direction but eventually, the universe corrects itself…or at least that’s what I keep telling myself.

Sometimes however, you shouldn’t have to wait for karma to step in and take care of your problems. If you’re like me and have been screwed by a friend, peer or colleague, guess what?  You are allowed to tell them that they suck.  Just think about it.  One of your ideas was just stolen by someone who you thought you could trust and they are now actually making money off of your ingenuity.  What do you think you should do?  Let them get away with it?  Let karma hit them upside the head?  Or tell them in no uncertain terms that you are truly disappointed in them for stealing your idea.

In my past life (okay so maybe it was just last year), I would have totally let that person get away with it…in fact, I actually did let them get away with it but not anymore.  Sure they say that copying someone’s idea is the sincerest form of flattery but not when that idea is used to make a profit at the expense of the person who came up with the idea in the first place.

So what will you do the next time someone steals your idea?  Will you let them have it?  Here’s hoping you will.  Because as much as I’d like Karma to work it’s magic, it’s much quicker to give that cheater a piece of your mind.

Okay — that’s a bit harsh, but do you ever wonder why Adam Sandler only partners on movies with friends who knew him before he became famous?  Sure some of his movie choices are questionable, but no matter what movie he produces, his friends come out for him and star in his films. Why?  Because he’s a nice guy and they trust him.

Which leads me to this post.  When you are considering hiring someone you don’t know to do a job, make sure you check them out.   Even if you think you know them, don’t get married first and then find out they were the wrong partner for you.  Test it out, ask for references, examine their warts before they become yours.

That’s the beauty of family and friends from your past.  You know exactly who they are and what they are capable of.  You know you should avoid the backstabbers at all costs and you would go to the ends of the earth for the people who have always been there for you.  So do the same when it comes to your business.  Hire people you trust who share the same work ethic as you.  Otherwise, you are setting yourself up for a bumpy ride filled with frustration, anger and bitchiness.

If you always bend over backwards for others and pitch in even if no one asks for your help, you are deep in the throes of being way too nice.  Here are five warning signs you are being too nice for your own good:

1. A friend asks you to drive out of your way to see them even though they’ve never once gone out of their way for you.
2. A friend or colleague constantly wants to “pick your brain” for free but when you ask for advice, they continually ignore you.
3. You’ve hired a consultant to work with you on a project and while they were supposed to help lighten your load, you find yourself doing the lion’s share of the work because their work is mediocre at best.
4. You finally get the courage to ask your boss for a promotion or raise and they inform you they’ve decided to promote someone else because they are more confident and you seem more like a worker bee.
5. Someone has stolen one of your ideas and is now using it to make money.   Rather than call them out for screwing you over,  you congratulate them on their success and wish them well.

If you can relate to all or a few of these points, then you are in need of a nice makeover. Time to get a little bitch in your life so you can finally get all the things you’ve always wanted.  I’m not saying it’s good to be mean to people all the time, but if you feel someone is taking advantage of your good nature,  then feel free to be a bitch on wheels.  You have my permission — a formerly rehabilitated nice person who is now a bitch at heart.

I’ve spent a lifetime being nice.  And honestly, the harder I worked and the nicer I became, the more people took advantage of my positive attitude.

“Oh she won’t mind if I promote someone else to the position she really wants.” “Oh she will be perfectly fine if I steal one of her ideas and make it my own.”

“Oh, she’ll be fine if I do a less than stellar job on a project she hired me for.”

“I mean she’s nice, I can totally take advantage of her, can’t I?”

Well guess what?  Once you hit your 40’s, you stop being so nice.  I remember having bosses who were in their 40’s and I could never understand why they could be so nasty and crazy when I worked with them but now I totally get it.  A woman in her 40’s who is used to working with colleagues who are dedicated professionals, honest, trustworthy and hard-working cannot deal with mediocrity.  While I have spent my entire career being nice to peers and colleagues, I’ve officially reached my breaking point.

I have watched time and again how nasty and cutthroat women get ahead and I now understand why. They don’t stand for people’s BS and they call people out when they are disappointed in their work. As I stand at the intersection of nice and nasty, I’m about to take a path that’s totally out of character.

Is it so wrong to expect people to have the same high standards as me?  I am tired of people taking advantage of my good nature and I want people not to make excuses for sub par work.  One and done.  That is my motto. I will be nice up to a point and if you do something that rubs me the wrong way, trust me, I will let you have it.  No more Mrs. Nice Gal.  For me, Bitch is the new Nice.